Robert A. Hahn, a commentator for the Red State, has described his experience with cooking and eating a veggie burger, better known as the ‘Impossible Burger’.

Hahn is positive that while the veggie burger might have its own merits, it is no actual substitute for a ‘hamburger’ despite being advertised as such.

In his words, the veggie burger in question could, for example, prove helpful for humanity’s survival in the event of an alien invasion that might obliterate all cattle from the face of planet earth.

The patty for ‘veggie burgers’ can be made from various kinds of plant ingredients, including, but not limited to, soybeans, tofu, grains, nuts, seeds, and mushrooms.

The Impossible Burger in particular is made of soybeans and potatoes plus coconut and sunflower oil.


Nothing like beef

The producer of the ‘Impossible Burger’, ‘Impossible Foods’, advertises the burger substitute as a challenge to meat-lovers, saying they would be reimbursed for the purchase if they tried an Impossible Burger and didn’t like it, no matter the reason.

Conservative commentator Robert Hahn described his plan to grill and consume Impossible veggie burgers as an experiment.

During the grilling, he discovered one important difference from Buffalo burgers.

Unlike traditional meat patties, the veggie burgers stayed pretty compact on the grill, instead of disintegrating and slipping down through it.

Hahn bought the Impossible Burgers as one-pound ‘slabs’ from the meat department of a local grocery store, and found out that the company producing the Impossible Burgers is the same one supplying Burger King with its ‘Impossible Whopper’.


Hahn further points out that the veggie burgers in question appeared gnarly unlike beef – they seemed as though they had little lumps in them.

Having no idea how a veggie burger should be cooked, he says how he probably slightly overcooked them in his experiment.

The commentator also notes that beef burgers could be pressed on with a spatula while grilling them to check how raw they are.

He says pressing the veggie burgers could likely produce some sap but he didn’t attempt to do that.

Not great, not terrible

Coming to the actual eating experience, Hahn writes that once he ate the whole thing, he thought it wasn’t bad but also that it measured nowhere near a real beef burger.


In fact, he stresses that if a person ordered a McDonald’s hamburger, and was given such a veggie burger instead, most would likely reject it after tasting it, with the impression that something is wrong with it.

The commentator elaborates that his first two bites came without any spices in order to taste only the veggie burger; while the rest was ‘improved’ with mustard-based BBQ sauce.

Hahn states he could eat another veggie burger but not as a substitute for a real hamburger since it isn’t one.

His final test of the veggie substitute hamburger included his two dogs!

While one of them would eat anything, the other one is far pickier.


However, Hahn was surprised to find out that the more selective dog might be vegetarian as he devoured the veggie burger and wanted more.

Finally, Hahn states he’d award the veggie burgers four stars but without knowing what that means.