Reddit has a certain subreddit called AITA — short for, “Am I the Asshole?” It’s a place where people post stories about difficult situations they’ve experienced in which they aren’t quite certain about whether or not they did the right thing.
People basically tell their stories there and then solicit the internet’s opinions about whether or not they behaved properly.
One recent post came from a bride-to-be who disinvited a man from her wedding after discovering that he had regularly made certain social media posts that she considered objectionable.
The story ended up dividing the Reddit community in a very interesting way about whether or not the woman behaved properly.
Awkwardly Uninviting Someone Over Politics
The woman who started the thread in question began her discussion by saying that there is a 38-year-old man who is the husband of one of her fiancé’s friends. This man had certain views to which the bride-to-be objected. He was a heavily religious Baptist who was opposed to homosexuality, was anti-abortion and frequently posted what she described as anti-vaxx COVID conspiracy theories online.
Though the man was perfectly pleasant during all of the occasions on which she had met and spoken to him in person, she considered his social media posts to be cruel and aggressive, and she ultimately couldn’t abide them.
Also, since one of her bridesmaids had had an abortion at one point in her life, she was afraid that this man might let his views spill out during conversation at the wedding and offend her friend.
With all this under consideration, the woman made the awkward decision to disinvite the man from her wedding. Specifically, she decided to communicate this via a message sent online rather than through a phone call or a face-to-face meeting. Understandably, the man and his wife were upset. In particular, the man was especially miffed that the soon-to-be newlyweds hadn’t spoken to him about this matter privately before making their decision.
And so, the future bride took to Reddit, asking people for their thoughts. Obviously, she felt awkward and even a bit bad about the situation. She clearly had doubts about how she handled things. As you can imagine, people’s opinions were sharply divided.
Some supported the bride’s decision. After all, a wedding is a private and personal ceremony. Anyone has the right to invite or not invite anyone to his or her wedding that he or she pleases. Others who personally considered the man’s views abhorrent also supported the decision to disinvite him.
Others, however, criticized the bride for making what they saw as an obvious social faux pas.
The bride let her fear of confrontation drive her to break the unpleasant news to the man in an extremely impersonal way — by sending him a message online.
If she had talked things out with the man privately, he might have agreed to keep quiet about his opinions for her sake. An even better option may have been never to invite the man in the first place, thus, avoiding all of the awkwardness.